Day One

brandil79

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January 1, 2016

Had a rough go of keeping a daily during this vacation/break.  But that’s okay.  We had a great New Year’s Eve.  There were good friends, some Vietnamese take out, a marathon run of some Pandemic (once with the BioTerror component, twice getting our butts handed to us by make believe disease and we had  fun time watching Criminal Minds.  Because why would Hotch not be a part of New Years?

I don’t know where we are going this year.  Good things will happen.  If we make them.  I’m determine to not let the guilt eat me alive.  And to not have sadness consume everything we do.  That I do.

There will be more fiction, more truth, more fiction with bits of truth muddled in.  There will be some stuff that is awful (written) some stuff that is wonderful (life) and a genuine attempt to make every day unique.

That’s it.  Happy New Year.  It’s been great so far.

Lost a day

brandil79

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December 29, 2015

I don’t do well when I sleep in. But I can’t sleep well lately and it’s messing up my routine. 

Maybe I need to think less. Love less. Be less keen to be a part of something bigger and instead just be content to be part of the little things that make life worth it. 

Maybe it’s time to reconsider my goals. Where I fit.

Maybe I should get out of the tub and go to bed,

12-27

brandil79

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December 27, 2015

What makes a good deed? I think it is intent. It doesn’t matter how small the thing is or how insignificant it seems to the doer, if they are taking time out of their day to do something for a friend or a stranger, regardless of who is watching or who might know about it, that’s goodness. The deed is dredged in love and kindness and says something more true about the doer than they will ever realize.

It’s sunday and almost monday and I’m tired and I haven’t had the energy to write poetic things about important topics. The pain of this year is bound to me like a second skin. But the yea is almost over and im determined to help it ebb away so that I can scratch back to the surface of who I used to be. That’s the goal anyway. We will see if it happens.

12-24

brandil79

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December 24, 2015

A secret will do one of two things to its keeper; it will either destroy them in the process of keeping it, or it will become something new; no longer a secret but a lie turned into a truth.

She knew that if she kept this secret, it would destroy her. So she did what any 13 year old girl would have done; she wove a web of lies so thick that she herself no longer knew where the lie and the secret ended and where the truth began. Her secret, and the woven fabric of her deceit would flow through the rivers of time and touch millions. She couldn’t know it. She was only a child. Frightened. Alone. In danger of losing everything, including her life. So she whispered the lie once. And then again. And again. And she whispered it so many times that it became a truth. And when she watched him dying, she wondered if the truth she created would be enough to save any of them.

12-23

brandil79

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December 23, 2015

“Are we doing this?”

“I don’t know, are we?”

She grabbed his coat and pulled him towards her, fitting herself against him as he lowered his mouth onto hers. It was the answer to the question and they began to move towards the bedroom. Clothes shed in piles on the staircase, in the hallway. She lifted his shirt over his head, ran her hands down his chest as she sank to her knees in front of him. His belt buckle caught and wouldn’t come loose for her, he helped. She freed his cock, holding it in her hands as she looked up at him. Need and desire written clearly on his face, she took him into her mouth and felt his body sigh as she began to work her mouth around him. His fingertips worked into her hair holding her head gently but undeniably demanding she take him deeper. More.  She pushed him onto the chair and sat between his legs, still fucking him with her mouth. His hips rose and fell and she could taste him, sweet and salty, on the tip of her tongue. 

He pushed her off of him and pulled her shirt off, yanked her bra down and took a nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting and sending waves of desire through her whole being. He paused and looked at her. Then pushed her to the floor and flipped her over, shoving his cock into her pussy with one swift, delightfully brutal,thrust. She gasped and choked back a small, primal scream. He took a few moments, a few gentle strokes, and then he was fucking her. He held her hips and buried himself deep inside her then pulled all the way out to the tip before ramming into her again and again. An orgasm built deep inside and she couldn’t hold herself up any longer as it washed over her. 

He pulled out of her and gently turned her to face him. She straddled his cock, buried it inside her and began rocking against him. He held her to his chest and looked at her with those eyes. So much behind that look. They kissed gently and she felt him shaking beneath her as she rocked her hips back and forth.

“Come for me.” She whispered in his ear.

He put his hands on her hips and guided her up and down and she felt him tense beneath her. The fullness in that moment when he twitched and came inside her put her over the edge and she came for a second time wrapped around him, entwined and entangled. His head fell against her chest and she could feel her heart pounding against his cheek. 

“I guess we are doing this,” he said, smiling up at her lazily. She threw her head back and laughed.

12-22

brandil79

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December 22, 2015

it snowed. Well, it’s snowing. I like snow, but not how complicated it makes everything. Boots, coat, hat, gloves, warm up the car, shovel the walk. It’s a pain in the ass. 

I went for a hike in the snow today. Not far. Just a bit. It reminded me of a lot of good things that I didn’t do enough of this year. Need to have more of the things I love going into next year. Which isn’t far off. I’m tired. And this is all I got. So, night.

12-21

brandil79

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December 21, 2015

It is a palindrome.

Today a weird thing happened that sorta made me feel icked. But a lot of good things happened too. So I’m focused on that.  It’s hard when douchey people act douchey. Because I want people to be good. And I expect it. And sometimes Im teased little for my naïveté. Then someone assholes and it makes me feel stupid. 

Oh well. I got to hang out with friends. I got to swing with my kid in the cold. I went to the library.

It was a good day. I’ll stick with that.

12-20

brandil79

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December 20, 2015

Hate when I start a post early and by the time I get back to it I don’t feel the same so I scrap it.

I know this girl. Let’s call her Lillith. She’s stuck in this god-awful situation. She just wants to get away from the fuckers she’s with, but she keeps getting ropes into their  dust ups. And that ferret. There’s something about it. She can’t let it out of her sight. So that means the box maker can’t be out of her sight. She’s not sure how she feels about the rest. But she promised Alfred, so she’ll see that no harm comes to the Dog. And that means the damn paper pusher too. A fucking salon. She spent all morning in a fucking salon. But the bar was fun. Who’d have guessed that damn doofus would have pulled through and gotten them outta that one? She’d need to keep her eye on him; he wasn’t as dumb as he looked. Or maybe he was just so lucky he could get away with being exactly that dumb. Least she still had grape slushies to look forward too. And she’d lifted an info disk off one of the Teller boys at the bar. Who knows what she’d get off that. Maybe more about “Manhattan”. Oh well, circus time! This should be fun. What could go wrong?

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