Game Day

brandil79

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May 30, 2015

It’s no secret; I play Roller Derby.  I love strapping on my skates, working til I sweat and, you guessed it, hitting people.

But I’ve got another secret. I’m about to make it not a secret.

It’s game day (bout day, match day, scrimmage hour, awesome unicorn pony super time). And I’m excited to watch my teammates today (from inside the track cuz oh Jeebus I agreed to try reffing sweet mother why?). But my favorite part of today is happening right now. Literally. 

I’m lucky. I get to help set up the rink for our big day. Even luckier? I’m usually able to be the first one here. It’s magical. Seriously, if you don’t believe me, offer to be the first at your venue next time you play. 

No one else is here. It’s just me and this big empty rink. The bleachers aren’t set up, the merch table is currently still a merch bucket. The only sounds are birds and the occasional car headed up to the ski hill or the Valle for the day. But pretty soon it will happen. Skaters and volunteers will trickle in. The noise level will rise. The audience will cheer and skates will check and whistles will echo in the canyon. 

Until then it’s just me and the possibility. The possibility that in a few hours someone will become a better skater than they thought they were. That opponents will become friends. That fans will become lifelong, or even better, teammates. 

So don’t feel sorry for me when you see me drag my skate bag to my car at dawn. Don’t think I do it because I have to. This is the best part of game day. The magic of the possibility.  

 

Work vs Work

brandil79

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April 9, 2014

I had another conversation recently that highlights the misconception that because I don’t sit at a job 9-5 I don’t work.  I thought about putting up a passive agressive facebook post about it, then thought better and decided to share my feelings on the matter in a more verbally satisfying format.  This is more a rant than a rave and it’s very individualized to me so I expect to have to block some comments.  That said.  The conversation has happened to me more than once since my daughter was born.  In fact, it happened even when I was working 40 hours a week in a Pub.  Then it was “when will you get a real job?” or “are you going to school” as if my job, which paid my rent, bills, and car payments was somehow “not real” or had to be some sort of layover to the “real” world.  It just wasn’t good enough for the people who saw me as an intelligent person full of potential.  It didn’t matter that I was very happy, very satisfied and had plenty of money.  They saw a service industry worker.  That was it.

The conversation took on a different tone after my daughter was born. I worked from home for two years after she was born, doing transcription.  It became too much to juggle a full time job with the duties of taking care of a stubborn toddler.  So I let that work go.  Now she’s five and I have gone back to work (very part time in the retail sector).  And the conversations are back. Do I consider going back to school? Do I want a real job, now that she’s gone most of the day? Do I ever miss working? I also get that handful of people that think that since I’m at home a large part of my day I can take on extra work for them.  Doing favors and chores or answering emails and questions the minute they arrive in my lap.  Their impatience showing through in the tone of their followup emails or questions when I don’t immediately respond to them.

Let me tell you, just because I don’t leave home and sit behind a desk for 8 hours doesn’t mean I don’t work.  Everyone’s work is different.  Here’s a taste of my day.

If it’s a weekday (which it usually is) I’m up by 6:30 to get my daughter dressed, fed and out the door for school.  I drive her, 6 miles round trip, taking about 30 minutes to get her in the car, to the school, find parking, out of the car, to the classroom and back home.  Twice a week I go to work right after that and I’m there until it’s time to go get her.  Sometimes I have time to run to the bank or to the store before I do, but not always.  She’s home by 3:30 and our afternoons get taken up with homework (yes, they have homework in kindy) gymnastics, preparing dinner, cleaning the house, doing laundry (which doesn’t always get done, but hey, clean undies are in plentiful supply and that’s what counts).  My husband is usually not home until around 7 (give or take) and teh kidlet is getting put to bed by 8.  I then have two to three hours of “quiet” to work on one of the two large novel projects I’m working on, or to blog or write upa  short story.  

Now.  Add on top of these normal weekdays the days I have Roller Derby practice.  For those that want to say I don’t have to go to those, you are right.  You also don’t have to go to the gym, or the movies or the library or whatever it is that keeps you sane, but you do.  So I go to practice.  Two days during the week.  From 6ish-9ish depending on the location and whether I’m coaching or skating or if we have things to deal with.  On Sundays it’s another two hours, up to five, depending on whether I’m coaching, skating, coaching a junior league or whatever.  Add on the Board and committee work I do.  And a Board and League meeting per month.  You get the picture.  

Now.  I like to go to the library.  I like to go for bike rides, I like to go to teh movies and read books and write.  I write part time (about 20 hours a week)

Sounds pretty posh right? I’m not going to complain.  But like everyone I know who works a full time, out of the house “real job” I have duties (hehe doodies) from the time I roll out of bed until I fall back into it.  I am NEVER not on call with my daughter.  I am NEVER not on call as a writer (which I am, regardless of published status so phhtt).  I balance my time with derby with my time at work (the “real” job), home duties and personal time.  Just like everyone else.  I balance.  
So the next time someone snarks at me, or demands a reply to their email or wants to know if I’ve “done the thing” I’m going to refer them to this post.  Or ask them to kindly watch my daughter or go to work for me or finish my novel while I jump right on the thing that needs doing. 

The end.

Derby Love

brandil79

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April 21, 2013

In May, I will celebrate three years of Roller Derby.  Now, this isn’t three easy years we’re talking about.  Let’s have a little story time.

In May 2010 my husband encouraged me to meet with a local Roller Derby league (I haven’t ever asked him if he regrets that decision….)  I was cautiously excited as I approached them at a local convention, but after meeting the few ladies that were manning their booth, I decided that I would indeed check out the next practice.  Here’s what I knew about Derby at that point.  The women were tough, it was on roller skates and it was all the rage in Seattle.  That was it.  I’d casually toyed with the idea of checking out a league while I was a Seattleite but never did (much to my great regret later on).  I even met a few rollergirls from the Seattle team during my time in the bar biz, but again, I was too young and stupid to see a good thing when it was rolling right in front of me.

Anyway.  It was practice day number one and I was a nervous wreck.  Would these ladies like me?  Would I be any good? Could I afford this?  What the hell was I thinking.  I showed up in sweat pants and a baggy shirt to a group of women in tights and fishnets.  I had no gear but was given an old pair of white dance skates, some elbow and wrist pads (they didn’t have much else in the way of loaner gear) and was set to the middle of the track to try out my skills. 

The skates were three sizes too big, I fell on my ass at least a dozen times and I scraped up my knees pretty good but I was in L-O-V-E.  I don’t know why.  I don’t know how.  The derby bug bit me in the ass and I’ve been infected ever since.  

Our league was young and plagued with drama and we changed coaches, names and team colors twice over the next year but I continued to skate.  I watched my best friend (who I met on the team) break her leg.  I watched other girls break ankles, wrists, tailbones (and broke mine twice) and still we all skated.  The following February we had our last bout as a league.  Too much drama and ego, not enough structure and design, destroyed our league.  We briefly discussed forming our own league but some of the gals who were ready for the next level of played wanted to join the already established league in our area.  Our team had been through a lot together and now everyone was going their separate ways.  Some of us that were unwilling to join the other local league (they too were plagued with drama and ego) saw our derby careers coming to an end.  

I was devastated and angry and let others steal my joy.  I won’t ever, ever do that again.  I could have kept skating.  I could have let go of my personal hurts on the track.  I could have kept skating.  Instead I hung up my skates and bitterly looked back on that time as the best years that could have been.  Not long after that my husband was laid off, finances were tight and although derby was always on my mind, I rarely looked at as more than “something I used to do”.

Fast forward to spring 2012.  My BFF was cleared to skate after her break and we somehow ended up at a recruitment event for the other local league we’d dismissed before hoping that the time and inclusion of some of our old teammates had quelled some of their less than desirable qualities.  Unfortunately, despite a concerted effort by some members, the “old guard” on the team still had the “We hate fresh meat” atitude and it was overheard by me and the BFF that one player in particular would not “Ever skate with that bitch” aimed at I don’t know who but it was enough to put us off.  Derby dreams crushed, take two.

Shortly after that recruit event another sort of local league (they were positioned in a town about 40 minutes away) was holding a recruit night.  We decided to head down and check it out.  It was exactly what we were looking for.  A positive, supportive group of ladies, working hard to make derby work.  I’m not sure how long a time passed, not long, but I decided to join them and attended a couple of practices, excited at the prospect of once again being part of a league and continuing my skating journey.

Fast forward less than a month.  My husband, who had been laid off for a year, got offered a job in San Diego that would last the summer.  I was no longer able to commit the three night, 4 hour practices with the kidlet under my wing.  So, once again, derby got put off. 

Okay, stick with me, hop in the TARDIS and fast forward to Winter 2012.  Our family is relocated to ____ _______, New Mexico.  Of course, the first thing my husband tells me about this strange little town is “they have a derby league” (wow, he really does love me, doesn’t he?)  I contacted them, attended one recruit night/practice and now, four monthsish later I am a skills tested, boutable skater for the first time, ever.  

Am I proud? Hell yes!  Do I wish I’d never given up on derby in the first place? Hells yea!  Do I plan to do this until my body falls apart at the seams and the refs have to send me off the track because despite having four wheels a wheelchair does not qualify as an “oversized quad skate”? most likely.  I will never let any league drama or personal issues steal my joy.  I am my own joy maker and only I can take away my own joy.  That’s really more profound in my head than in print, but you get the point.  I’m DO ROLLER DERBY. It’s not a joke, it’s a sport.  Over these past few years I’ve traded in tutus and fishnets for moisture wicking pants and athletic tape.  I’ve gone from scarfing down nachos and beer at the after party to protein shakes and muscle support supplements.  I’ve gone from letting others ruin the experience for me to taking charge of my experience and becoming the better skater I knew I could.  

 

I DO ROLLER DERBY

Twitter, Art, Sharing, Taking, Giving and Whatnot

brandil79

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March 11, 2013

Alright.  I’ve been sitting on this post for a bit now.  Well, at least since last week.  It’s going to be a tough one because there are so many things I want to say and express and I’m not totally sure I get all the feels I’m having right now about things. 

I have wanted to be a writer since I was old enough to use a stapler to mash together some construction paper into a “book” about a Penguin who wanted to be a polar bear.  It’s been that long.  I have always been writing short stories, poetry (terrible, terrible poetry) small novellas and screenplays.  Once, as a Freshman in high school, I got the chicken pox and was stuck inside, very sick, for nearly 3 weeks.  During this time I decided that I was going to watch The Empire Strikes Back.  87 times.  On VHS.  This was no laughing matter.  It dawned on me that this was as perfect a movie as would ever be made and I had to absorb all of it from the matte sets to the screenplay itself to the cast bios etc.  I was young and obsessed (not that I’m NOT still obsessed, I’ve just decided to be obsessed with MORE things.) Anyway.  During this spell, I also decided that I just had to know what happened next.  But there was Jedi and then, well nothing.  At the time, the Star Wars Universe as novels had not been introduced (or was so recently introduced that I had not stumbled upon it so I embarked upon a journey to write the next movie.  I titled it (no joke, I had no idea the books existed at this point) “HEIR TO THE EMPIRE” and it was the story of a young Jedi Clone (seriously) who was the prodigy of the Emperor, held in stasis and released through a mishap after the final movie.  I can’t remember most of the rest of the plot save that my heroes were ladies, (Leia and her grown daughter) and the Villain was a She, a young girl with the power to topple the hard won stability of the Alliance.  

I was 14 and  it was genius.  Some time later I was in the local library and saw Timothy Zahn’s book.  I was devastated  but then not so much because hey, I wasn’t alone anymore in my need for fulfillment and double hey, someone did all the hard work for me getting that work out there.  Anyway.  I never let anyone read it.  And when I read it now, I realize that it wasn’t so genius, but I’m still proud of myself for seeing where there was a need for the art and filling that need.  Even if the only person that benefited was 14-year-old me.

Fast forward to now.  Some (cough, cough) years later and I’m still writing.  End of the World? Got that covered.  Zombie Apocalypse  In the bag.  If I enjoy reading about it or watching about it, chances are I’m also writing about it.  I’m still not quite to the “Share this with other people stage” but I’m getting closer.  And there are reasons for that.

About a year ago? Maybe two?  Sometime in the near past, I got myself on the Twitter.  At first I was following three people.  My husband, my husband’s cousin’s husband, and a man I knew from school.  But then I got adventurous.  What’s this? Wil Wheaton has a blog and a twitter account and what’s more he’s pretty articulate about things that I enjoy?  Follow.  Who is this crazy cat lady that writes this blog that makes me pee my pants and has videos of snail sex on occasion? She has a twitter? Follow.  And so on.  Every creative person I found on Twitter lead to ten more creative people and pretty soon it felt less like a social media account and more of a personalized news feed filled with the supportive, creative, positive sort of news we should all be sharing, reading and filling our day with.  Pretty soon it encouraged me to drop Facebook (which was turning into a “LIKE OR SATAN WINS” sorta  feed) and get my social networking/newsing from Twitter alone.  It was a great decision. 

I don’t know what it is.  Maybe it’s just that I have chosen to follow a particularly positive, like-minded, creative group of people on Twitter but I never regret checking in.  I’ve read books I never would have heard of based on recommendations from authors (Chuck Wendig, Delilah Dawson, John Scalzi) I’d never heard of who I follow based on recommendations from people I’ll never meet in real life.  

Jump ahead to right now.  I recently watched Amanda Palmer’s TED talk  about art and asking.  If you haven’t watched it, pause and go do so now, then come back here.  I’ll wait.  Okay, I didn’t really wait, but it felt like I did yea?  So Amanda says so many great things in this talk that every time I watch I cry.  I feel that everyone can take something different away from this, but the most important thing?  It got people talking.  Talking about art, its value, how we value it as consumers, how we value it as the people making it and what it means to really, really participate in the art we love.  Her talk inspired me to take the leap and back my first Kickstarter and she is absolutely right; when we “fund” the art, with dollars or sharing or volunteering to help it grow wings and fly, we become emotionally invested in that art.  I chose “Fireside Magazine” as my first jump into being an invested participant in the creative process, and in return I received tweets of thanks from the writers, authors and artists I’d been stalking, ahem, following on twitter for over a year now.  I’m getting signed art from people I adore.  And what’s more, I’m putting myself out there for the first time.  I will be submitting a piece to the magazine, whether it’s chosen or not means nothing to me.  It’s the doing of this that is important.  If I didn’t feel so emotionally invested in the project, it would not have crossed my mind.  I’m taking the first step into a world that I’ve long admired and it’s that step that counts.

So the take away here is…  I still don’t really know.  I know that great, positive creative things are happening around me and I feel energized to be a part of them, even as a fringe onlooker and “NEWB” level participant.  If you don’t believe me, hop on Twitter or check out a few of these folks who have blogged the same line of thought (I’m doing this post via laptop with a kidlet screaming in my ear or I’d list them all).  There are people out there that will look after other people they’ve never met, there is a place for everyone in this big artistic world.  No, we can’t all sell 100 million thousand billion copies of our books or albums or paintings, but we can find those people who are looking for the artistic hole only we can fill and to paraphrase Ms. Palmer again, we can let that be enough.

 

 

 

Day One

brandil79

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May 26, 2012

I feel like that person in that song.  The one about the jet plane.  Only I’m the one that’s waiting back home and the jet plane was more of a Pt Cruiser.  Melodramatic? Maybe.  But this is day one of being apart from the one person I swore I’d never be apart from so I’m feeling a little wordy and melodramatic.  Otherwise, I’m in a great mood.  The Kidlet woke me up a bit later than usual so I got the extra 2 hours or so I needed and now we are up and showered and ready to face the day.  

The Farmer’s Market is our first dadless adventure.  After stocking up the pantry at Costco, I realized what I really want is fresh anythings.  I’m hoping there are some berries for the kidlet.  This afternoon we are headed out to make cheese and pizzas at my cousin’s house.  Hope both things turn out well.  At the least we can console ourselves while our hubbies are out of town.  

Maybe this will get me back into the writing habit, who knows, anything could happen!

Lists for persons newly diagnosed

brandil79

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March 31, 2012

Someone had mentioned at last month’s group meeting that we should start keeping some lists of all the places/brands/restaurants that offer gluten-free options.  Below I have shared several of my personal favorite blogs, stores I like and brands of GF items I find to be the best.  These are all my personal opinions and our eating may be very different from the next persons, but I hope you enjoy the list nonetheless!

 

Favorite Blogs:

Gluten Free Girl and The Chef http://glutenfreegirl.com/ great recipes and anecdotes on gluten-free living.  She is NW author with several cookbooks. Be sure to check out her “LINKS” which is a compiled list of nearly all the GF bloggers out there!  Very comprehensive!

The Gluten Free Goddess (Karina Allrich)  http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/ Karina’s blog is beautiful to look at, has wonderful recipes (some vegan/vegetarian included).  

Celiac.Org  This is our go to resource for keeping abreast of current trends in Gluten Free foods and living.  

 

Our Favorite Restaurants:

Fat Olives

Nothing but Noodles (I guess the name has changed to Pacific Grill or something along that line.  If anyone knows please let me know!

Frost me Sweet (cupcakes, lunch and dinner, other pastries) Please note that when I have been in there, they only offer GF choices on Fridays, this may have changed

Tagaris Winery (Taverna).  We have had some excellent dishes prepared by the chef and there are several on staff with celiac or similar intolerances so it feels like they are always well-informed.  They offer gf breads (FRENCH MEADOW BAKERY) as a substitute for many of their flat breads during lunch and dinner.

 

Stores Which Stock GF items consistently

Yokes in Pasco and West Richland.  Not only do they have a tremendous selection of gf items, we have had several requests fulfilled by managers at both stores.

Highlands and Vista Health Foods.  Both have a good gf selection of items

Winco.  Gluten free items on shelf (Richland) are brightly labeled with a PINK tag that says “GLUTEN FREE”.  They also have several items in bulk (and after speaking with the manager at Richland, those items are not switched out with items containing gluten, rather they have dedicated bins)

Fred Meyer.  Has a limited supply of GF items in the Nature’s Corner

Asian Markets (various) A great source for rice, rice noodles, papers and often fresh veggies.  Rice noodles can be expensive but we have found that the ones in the Asian Markets are higher quality and often several dollars cheaper than those found in conventional markets

Greenies.  In addition to GF food items (often discounted or clearanced seasonally) they carry beauty items that are sustainably manufactured and GF

 

My FAVORITE gluten free items:  Udi’s breads (muffins, breads, buns, rolls and crusts) we have never had a bad Udi’s item in our house and the pizza crust is top notch.

Bob’s Red Mill pizza crust (scratch), Cornbread and Brownies

Gluten Free Pantry Brownies

Sunshine Burgers Veggie Burgers (Frozen) California or Barbecue Style

Betty Crocker GF baked goods (All of these items are up to par with gluten-y BC items, including white and chocolate cake, cookies and brownies)

San-J sauces and Gluten Free Tamari (soy sauce)

Thai Kitchen has a wide variety of ready to eat gluten free meals

Juanita’s Chips (NOT THE GREEN LABEL BAG!!!)

Glutino Bread Crumbs (corn)

Jovial Pastas (I have not seen these local, if anyone has please let me know)

Polenta and Quinoa (I like the ready made polenta in the tube, and I get my quinoa bulk at Winco, preferring the red to “white” quinoa.  Here is a great link on cooking quinoa as well http://www.eatingrules.com/2011/10/how-to-make-fluffy-quinoa/

 

That’s just a few of our faves! I will add to it as I find/think of more places! Can’t wait to see everyone else’s lists 🙂

 

 

I’m Still Here

brandil79

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March 12, 2012

Apparently me and goal writing is a big no-no.  As soon as pinned up 2012’s goals I promptly avoided looking at them  daily and shied away from anything resembling a blog.  I have been writing in some journals and have once again started several stories that have potential.  Which means they are gathering dust as we speak.  I’m not sure why I’m so fearful of finishing what I start.  I’ve tried some short stories and poetry and even that has inspired me to wrap things up.  I’m not even sure where this post is going.  And I need breakfast.  

Best Christmas

brandil79

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December 21, 2011

It’s that time of year again.  Time for Silver Bells and Deck the Halls and a little Pa-rum-pa-pa-pumming.  I was ambivalent going into this year’s Christmas Season.  We have all been a little run down and sick with something that creates a lot of mucous, preschool has us on our toes more than I thought possible and there has not been a single nibble on any of those resumes the Hubs has been sending out.  I wasn’t sure we could have a Merry Christmas when the odds were less than in our favor.  All that was left to send me Bah Humbugging through the rest of the year was an arrow to the knee.  Image

Then it hit me; sometime between the last of the turkey leftovers hitting the trash and the neon blue twinkle lights went on on the neighbors gutters across the road (show offs), I am really, really enjoying this year.  Christmas-wise, at least.  

I don’t know if it’s the Wee One’s sudden interest in all things Claus, or the days I spent chin deep in glitter making sparkly, secret gifts for those on our list, but something about this year is different than the others before it.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, there is the usual stress; busy stores that are full of people pushing for “THE LAST ONE!” and worry over how we will balance our personal time on Christmas Day with the demands and desire to visit with loved ones about town.  However, I’m not stressed about little things this year. I’m not wondering what I’ll get for Christmas and the fact that all our spare Christmas resources went to making sure that the Wee One had a few extras under the tree leaves me feeling more than happy in the knowledge that my gift this year is giving her a sense of joy Christmas Morning.

Maybe it’s all the Modge Podge fumes I’ve inhaled these past few weeks but I’m not as concerned with the gifts I’m exchanging with the adults in my life either.  I’ve crafted quite a few things for the people close to me and mine and feel more content with the results of my labor and the money spent in their crafting than I have ever felt on any store bought bauble in past years.  The Hubs and I are working together, as well, which we have never quite been able to do in the past when it comes to deciding who gets what, so there is a cohesiveness to our gifts that feels right.

I could complain about our circumstances (and, to be honest, I have).  With The Hubs out of work, money is tight and we can’t always get what we want, or need, right away.  But I am truly grateful that he is unemployed this year.  I can say that because it has helped us really talk about what we want out of our Christmas this year and in the years to come and has given us a sense of what Christmas is really about as we squirrel away in the attic room to craft each other’s gifts and tuck away homemade treats into hand labeled goody boxes to give out to our friends and neighbors.  It has been so easy to lose sight of the meaning of the holiday in the past, getting caught up in a frenzy of shopping and gift buying, spending and wastefulness.  This budget conscious year has helped us appreciate the littler things in life and I am grateful that it happened.

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I hope I can remember this feeling next year and the year after and that the small things we have been doing turn into lifelong traditions for The Hubs and I and maybe down the road, my Wee One will be doing some of these same things with her children at Christmases to come.

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No matter what, I know this Christmas will be Merry and Bright.

 

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Hi There!

brandil79

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December 3, 2011

Okay, so this is more than a week later.  Quite a bit more.  But to be fair, I was writing a novel, or at least attempting to.  I did accomplish my word goal for Nanowrimo.  Fifty thousand in thirty days! Whew! Who knew I had it in me.  I learned a lot.  I learned that I can write fifty thousand words in thirty days.  I learned that fifty thousand of my words is the equivalent of two chapters, three or four random outlines, a prologue, several character sketches, an ending chapter, and several rants about how hard it is to write what I REALLY want to write.  But at least I know that I have it in me.  And what’s more, on my best days I was writing more than 5k so in reality, if someone locked me in a room for thirty days and said “write or you shall not see the next episode of Dr. Who!” I would probably be able to bang out quite a fine novel.  Or at least a great and rather wordy death threat to my captors.

I will be back on track next week with weekly blog updates on all three blogs.  The goal is Mondays here, Thursdays on the Foodie blog and one weekend day on “that other blog”.  So thanks for your patience while I get my stuff done, it’s nice to be back.

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