I’ve been up since about 3:30 this morning, lying in bed wishing I could actually finish a night’s sleep and wondering if maybe I should be working nights somewhere since it seems like I’m never going to be sleeping again anyway.
It’s funny what our brains can put together in those hours when we should be sleeping but can’t. I think a lot about the bridges I’ve burned and whether I can rebuild any of them or if the damage is too great. I think about family a lot. Friends. People I barely know who maybe I have hurt with my words or actions. I think about the people everywhere hurting right now and I can’t help but draw back to my incredibly religious upbringing and wonder if the doomsayers are right and we’re in some sort of End Times. I don’t believe it for a moment, but my brain creates pretty scenarios when the sun is starting to rise.
Today we head down to SF for some appointments and chores. It’s not how either of us wants to spend the day or the week (we go back Wednesday for more cancer followups) but it is what it is. Nothing exciting or special. Just another Monday.