Winter might be over. I don’t trust it. We will probably get lulled into this security. And plant things. And plan things. And go places. Then it will ice and snow and sleet all over us. I don’t mind, not really. We need a little more winter. More water and snow makes water. I also can’t wait for the days to be longer and the nights to be warmer. I feel the spring tug at me. Telling me the new and the possible is around the corner.
I have been trying so hard lately. And I am exhausted. Tired of tiptoeing; worried that if I don’t watch every word or action I might hurt people again. I still feel broken. Like things are scattered and lost and the person I used to be is holding this puzzle together without all the pieces I need. I know I’ll be okay. I know it, I don’t necessarily feel it. There are people in my life that have gotten such an unfair gift from me. They know I have the potential to give friendship and they see it and they get nothing but my temper and cruelty. It hurts me to know I can’t give them more. I could have, but I just can’t now.
Spring is coming. Winter has a lighter hold than she did last month. She’s tired, like me. But her temper is still bubbling at the surface. We can’t trust her to leave us just yet.
Bountiful Words, Beautiful World 