asking a grieving person to feel better, just so you feel better for having comforted them, is less than appreciated. You are actively interrupting a process that happens organically in the soul. I cannot feel better, nor can I pretend I’m not changed from grief, for the sake of your comfort or ego. I can appreciate your soft words, your distractions, you feeding me, letting me sit and be still, letting me talk until I am hoarse. I can appreciate the genuine sentiment of “I wish I could help” or “I am here”. But telling me to “feel better.” This is just more pressure that mymy heart  cannot take.

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